'God's my island hideaway, keeps danger far from shore...' psalms 32
I couldn't remember where it says he's my hiding place so he told me to try psalms 32 and there it was! Things have been so rough. My faith is so shaky right now - my mind went through a whole big loop over why he lets things happen and I felt totally out of control. I've been so upset about the whole adoption crash. Last night I had a breakdown, 'Then I let it all out, I said 'I'll make a clean breast of my failures to God. Suddenly the pressure was gone - my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. These things add up. Every one of us needs to pray; when all hell breaks loose and the dam bursts we'll be on high ground, untouched." (msg)
Last night he sent me a rainbow (a real one) and it was huge. I know he is love and I want to choose him over the other things of life I desire, even when it always feels like "no." I want to trust him and give him my life. He told me I need to hide in him right now and let him heal me. I was so afraid I had let him down. He gave me the word "to" a direction word or a specifier. He told me to look to him. That confession isn't about sin or guilt or duty - it's about which direction you're facing - it isn't confession that takes away sin, it's merely that it frees us to look to the one who already did, and by doing so letting ourselves let go of sin.